Wednesday, August 31, 2016

What a Feeling

This is my take on dating a guy who you can’t get enough of. It is too early in the relationship to know anything but hope and to feel anything but amazing. It’s incredible and rare, and here is my best:

It’s that once in a while (not once in a lifetime but certainly more rare than holidays) feeling where you are enchanted by a smile, a touch, and a kiss. You spend your whole day not caring one bit about anything bad in your life and you feel like, finally, everything is going to be all right. You know nothing is perfect, but you also know that the imperfections are well worth wading through the tough waters. It’s that feeling when all you do is smile and all you want to do is tell everyone that finally, who you have been waiting for, made his way to your doorstep. You are thrilled by how handsome he is and you wish you had pictures to show everyone because he is such a babe. You can’t stop smiling. You are thankful for your ex’s because they helped you appreciate the man in front of you by giving you a firm foundation of what is not acceptable and what is required.

He texts you right away and he follows through with the plan he makes. He even throws you for a loop by calling your phone (wow). You shouldn’t be so amazed by how great he is, but you are because you realize how rare it is to find such a gem. He is so sweet, and everything about him seems perfect. You know he checks the immediate qualifications of a serious boyfriend. It’s amazing. Arrow through the heart. Cupid got me good. Mush.

It’s that first comfortable Friday night when you don’t dress up or go anywhere and you have somebody who wants to be beside you. You watch TV and you laugh about your day. You talk about “what-if” in the universe and you discuss your childhood and what you think is right in the world. You have always enjoyed being alone but it is so nice to have a special someone.

You hope to God that it works out, that you don’t move to fast, or that you don’t put out vibes to scare him away. You hope he is genuine and that the guy you met is the guy he is. You are afraid this feeling will fade fast, or worse, it will be ripped away in a blindsided robbery. You hope you can open your whole heart and be yourself and that for once, it will work out. You came around to believing in love and you finally met someone to give it a whirl with.

This is what infatuation and lust feels like. This is what it feels like to be a human; the most rare emotion to encounter. The feeling that makes you do irrational things and be happy in a way that you can barely describe. When you are not around, you think of when you are…and you begin to feel woozy, but in the good way.


What a feeling.